I know it’s been a while but trust me, it’s not because white people have been wildin’ any less, it’s just because french uni has been kicking my butt and i’ve been too busy crying in public to write my usual snarky posts.
anyways, since i’m on my year abroad, i thought it’d be fun to have a quick diversion from our usual “sounds white but ok” posts to give you a new francophone flavour to this tab!
first up is this unrefined wheat-based conversation (which i’m highly intolerant to):
Act 1 Scene 1
(unassuming chinese girl is hanging out with two of her friends. they’re waiting in the main area of a club having just reentered after getting some air. they’re about to rejoin their friends. unnoticed, a french girl approaches the group.)
physical embodiment of a stale old baguette: (in thick french accent) you’re naked! (pronounced to rhyme with baked)
sob (for short): you’re naked. n-a-k-e-d.
girl: oh, naked?
sob: yeah, you’re naked!
protective friend: well, she looks great anyway so…
(the group tries to walk away but is stopped by nonsensical babble)
sob: where are you from?
girl: england. angleterre.
sob: oui, mais tes parents? il me semble que tu es asiatique (does asian eyes)
sob: i’m not being offensive, i love asia and japan!
girl: ok good for you (walks away)
now, on to my favourite part: breaking down this white-mare!
1: evidently, i was not naked. i was wearing a bralet and skirt (read: standard going out attire). i also don’t remember ever asking for your opinion on my outfit so back tf off, you mouldy croissant. having said that, this segment isn’t for roasting slut-shamers so let’s move on.
2: i. am. from. england. will anyone ever actually accept this response?
3: doing the asian eyes is never inoffensive.
4: “i love asia and japan”. “and japan”. i actually cannot. who’s going to take one for the team and tell her that japan is in asia?? also i’m not japanese which therefore makes that add-on redundant. (side note: why does everyone in france think i’m japanese? i’ve never been heckled with konnichiwa so much in my life????)
well, that’s it for this encounter! i know it was short but i hope you’ve enjoyed my return : )
be back soon! peace out