how to antagonise middle-aged white men who would ordinarily want to fetishise you- a guide by yours truly

click on this pic to read the original article m’dears x

hi friendos!

ya gal is back and better than ever! (/maybe not better than ever but a heckuva lot better than a week ago lmao)

today we’re gonna look at some of my fave comments in response to a piece i wrote for the independent. yes, it was on brexit. 

as any blogger/wannabe internet-content creator is told (i am the latter x), to preserve your own sanity, you shouldn’t pay attention to unwarranted negative comments on your work.

due to never-ending amusement at angry brexiteers, however, as well as a tab on this blog that was crying for an update, guess who decided to have a mosey round these comments?

me! ya boi!

much like folkloric trolls lurk under a bridge, internet trolls lurk under an article, so without further ado, roll on the xenophobes! we’re in for a treat, famalam!

what we found in this neck of the woods was a rather indignant vox pop consisting of sodden weiß krispies. yes, sodden. that’s what happens when you’ve been fermenting in a bowl of (imported) milk for 40+ years.

snap (your mouth shut pls)

monty, mr pillsbury no-boy, your beginning statement honestly just shows you to be either racist, misogynistic, or both but that’s k, it’s your terrible lifestyle choice to make.

“as a british woman of colour…zzzzzz” is a throwaway statement designed to dismiss and eradicate the thoughts and legitimate fears of an entire marginalised group of people. basically, hun, this says more about your ignorance than the supposed irrelevance of my piece.

“the bore of identity politics” is something only privileged and *ahem* white people ever say but what’s interesting is that you never complain about identity politics when it exists to benefit you. don’t forget that the entire system was built to favour your identity. it’s not wrong for other groups of people to want the government to help them too!!

and yes, i do “use my race to justify my bias” because let’s face it, race informs our entire lives. also, unless you’re illiterate (which the convoluted nature of your next paragraph suggests you may be), don’t you realise you came to the voices tab??? this section is for opinion pieces!! if you want a non-biased political piece, click on politics!! it’s really not that difficult.

also, it’s “reign”, hun x

crackle (and white noise are one and the same)

richardinspain commenting on goings on in the uk like a faux intellectual, thanks for your input!

ordinarily, i might have tried to decipher your first paragraph (because to issue a good rebuttal to EMA and EBA tings i need to do my research) but the thing is, your second paragraph has shown you to be the human embodiment of a public toiletout of order and full of shit.

let’s break down why:

  • Islam does not equal Islamism and Muslim does not equal Islamist. the “growth of islam” therefore isn’t a concern.
  • “Jihab” is not a thing. if you’re gonna be racist, at least get the terminology right- it’s more impactful x
  • if i’m going to be imprisoned or have acid thrown in my face, it won’t be because i’m not wearing a hijab, it’ll be because i’m unwilling to convert to islam. it therefore won’t just be “women like [my]self” who are affected, it’ll be everyone! that includes you!! in this mythical scenario you too will be locked up or maimed!! being a dude offers you zero protection from jihadists!! don’t let your misogyny override your xenophobia!

pop (a pill, it sounds like you need it)

boi o boi o boi, flatliner, this is an exceedingly grim speech.

to be quite honest, i’m concerned about your well-being. it seems like your blood pressure may be rising due to the unhealthy hate rhetoric you’ve been ingesting and i’m afraid you may be one vitriolic speech away from a heart attack. please simmer down before you become your username.

firstly, what exactly is your culture???? no one’s threatening your fish and chips??? no one’s banning the sale of factor 50?? no one’s forcing you to season your food?? there is no need to “stand up for your own culture” because no one is threatening it!!

also, it really isn’t you wanting to keep your extraordinarily bland culture that’s been branded “racist, xenophobic drivel”, it is, however, what you say in this comment, you redundant bottle of table salt.

“rabid followers of islam”, “somebody named mohammed”, “the next mohammad”, “four muhammad”?????? are you hearing yourself??? also, if you really insist on typecasting every muslim man like this, don’t you think you should at least agree on a common spelling for the character??

also, you’re right about there being a bias in german press but it’s the complete opposite to what you’re suggesting. much like most western media, german news is filled with islamophobia and fear-mongering!

(((check out this document if you want to read a comprehensive study of muslim representation in german media- here’s just one gem: “in contrast to other world religions, news about Islam is one-sidedly connected to conflict issues such as terrorism, extremism, integration problems and international altercations”)))

furthermore, since you said we are leaving”, i’m presuming you’re british. what’s ludicrous, however, is that the rest of your little rant concerns the german city in which you grew up- doesn’t this mean that you have, in fact, benefited from the EU???! haven’t you benefitted from free movement, free travel, free trade, and free healthcare???

(btw you also haven’t named the city so can anyone verify if it is, in fact, the second most dangerous?? can anyone verify if that supposed danger is, in fact, due to islamists?? methinks not)

your final paragraph sounds like something i had to argue against in my a-level oral exam. it’s the very basics of leitkultur gone mad and highlights your own unwillingness to aid integration.

  • “required quotas of illegal immigrants” isn’t possible. if it’s a “required quota”, they’re legal?? it’s literally the amount of immigrants you’re supposed to let in??
  • “no respect for other cultures”– no, it sounds like you think they have no respect for your culture. need i point out it’s you who has no respect for other cultures???
  • “live in their own enclaves for decades”– are you letting them live anywhere else? is there affordable housing anywhere else? are there job opportunities anywhere else? do they feel welcome anywhere else?

  • “do not even bother to learn the language”– this simply isn’t true!! for “a large percentage” of immigrants, they do want to learn but they’re too busy trying to provide for their family!! when the choice is between a one-hour language class or £8 (which helps put food on the table!!!), it’s common sense what you’re gonna choose!!
  • “want to kill you”– false. they want to escape a war-zone. they want to have a better standard of living. they want to follow their dreams. they want to feel safe in their homes. there are a ton of things they want, none of which include being on the receiving end of a bigoted coloniser’s tirade!!

finally, how is ferkel a pun here??

i want to say you’re trying for a play on islam not allowing consumption of pork but i highly doubt you’re smart enough for that.


those were the big three but ya bitch trawled some more whitebait!!

dunce cap goes to:


“ass british man of colour-white-”

dishonourable mentions:

bobtoo hopeless to be anything other than white

nvm the erroneous assumption of our supposed “vast trading options”, what is this “we screwed over africa but that’s chill, we won’t be as screwed” mindset?

guyonthenet with truly terrible syntax and a penchant for playground insults

gbless old white men who dismiss opinionated woc as simply “narcissistic girls”, where would we be without them?

trisul is a himalayan mountain range but you are just peak

ah yes because replacing one load of immigrants with another load of supposedly cheaper ones definitely isn’t a racist mindset in the slightest! 


that’s it for today’s “sounds white but ok”! there’ll be another one soon, i’m sure!

love ya 

Soph x

p.s. i’d also originally screenshotted some of the other terribly ignorant comments whether they be politically or economically regressive but i thought that wouldn’t be in the spirit of “sounds white but ok” so i chose these ones instead. you gotta pick your battles yano?

p.p.s. if, by chance, you are interested in the others, most of the comments are still there so you can marvel at the idiots with whom we share a gene pool at your own pace!

(nb: i’m back from my self-imposed exile and i may do a serious post on the setbacks i suffered after therapy but we’ll see m’dears)


say how u feel lmao

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