two rachels and a greg walk into my fb comments…

hi friendos!

it just so happens that white people are out here wildin again so i have a post for you!! aren’t you lucky!

i’m aware that for a while “sounds white but ok” has been an exposé of shit white men on dating apps but sometimes we gotta explore other avenues! (sorry if this isn’t what you signed up for but i’ve taken a break from romantic pursuits for now rip)

so, a lil backstory. i saw a video a while ago in which a young black boy in a playground in spain was getting bullied by a group of white kids. they blocked his path onto the slide; hit his head to stop him getting on; and when he and his mother (who was there the whole time btw) moved to play somewhere else, the kids started shouting from the slide “you’re not white” (no es blanco). evidently not content with being abominable racists from afar, they then slid down the slide; approached them where they were playing; shouted abuse in their faces; and then smacked the boy on the head whilst he was literally a foot away from his mother.

i tagged my best friend, as i am wont to do when it comes to out-of-line white people and said “the actual grace of this mother tho but alSO ANOTHER STELLAR EXAMPLE OF WHY WE DONT ACTUALLY NEED WHITE PPL IN THS WORLD”

usually, i tag her; she angry/sad reacts; then we go on our not-very-merry way having been once again enlightened at how truly shit white people are capable of being. this time, however, two rachels and a greg seemed to think it was an opportune moment to impart their brand of wheat wisdom.

what’s truly spectacular about this interaction is that it’s a stunning display of the three types of white people you can encounter. it’s like if you were choosing napkins for your wedding and the wedding planner gave you the options of snow, ivory, and alabaster and tried to make it sound like she was bringing something new to the table every time when really, you and her both know, they’re all just varying degrees of plain old white.

what we have from becky number one is the “i don’t see colour” brand of wheetobix.

“there is no such thing as a white person or a black person”. open your eyes rachel dolezal, you can’t pass one race off as another, that’s not how this works!!! colourblindness is a piss-poor way of saying “i don’t have to care about race because i’m white and privileged”. at least have the balls to say what you actually mean, babe.

“our dna is full of so many different nationalities at this point” (for these purposes, yes, i will function as her spell check). no no no no. even if you say you’re 1/16 cherokee or whatever other ethnicity white people try to claim nowadays, you are just lightly toasted wonderbread at most. a bowl of oatmeal with a stray chocolate chip.

“skin colour is nothing more than pigment”.

if that’s truly what you believe, tell that to the people who have to deal with systemic racism every damn day due to something that is “nothing more than pigment”. tell that to asian women who are fetishised, tell that to black youths who are unfairly profiled/arrested, tell that to latinx people who are paid less than white people and other poc.

also, green eyed people aren’t a race?????? but you’d only know that if you made the effort to rub your two brain cells together x

(as a side note, accents don’t go that way on Renèe so either your mum spelt your name wrong on your birth certificate or you’ve tried to give yourself a more exotic name. either way it’s a mistake and kinda tragic.)

becky number two showcases the attitude “but i’m not like other white people!” (the white people equivalent of “not all men!”)

i don’t have time for this, i don’t have time for you. plenty of my friends wouldn’t stand for something like this (hence why i’m friends with them) but they at no point feel the need to turn a conversation about racism into a way to alleviate or erase their white guilt. sit tf down you unseasoned potato salad.

(also, is rachel smith not just the whitest name you’ve ever seen???)

with greg, we lose all pretences of a sympathetic white person. he instead opts for an outdated trope that has no place in this conversation. for the sake of this post, however, let’s try and break this down anyway.

1: it was a joke. or if not a joke, a tongue-in-cheek statement. i’m not out here proposing mass genocide, calm down.

2: i fail to see what’s funny about your next statement, i think you need to re-familiarise yourself with the english language. maybe substitute “funny” with false.

3: ummmmmmm???

this video has everything to do with white people seeing as a group of white kids are bullying a black kid?????? where did Asian women giving back rubs even come from? (also look up your singular and plurals greg, this is v basic stuff). are you trying to wheel in an offensive stereotype just for the sake of being controversial? honestly, grow up you soggy marshmallow.

what i’ve realised through reading this thread of comments is that a great deal of white people will get upset when you provide any sort of racial commentary. to those white people, i say: i don’t care. if you feel the need to give any of the above responses when poc point out racism, you are part of the problem and need to take a long hard look in the mirror.

i’m not here to stroke your egos or kiss your boo-boos. all you’re gonna get from me is unabashed truthfulness even if that offends your sensibilities. white people created the cesspool in which racism thrives and it’s high-time they accepted that.

check yoself and check yo ignorant views.

peace out hoes

Soph x



  1. Zoe Thompson June 17, 2018 / 8:51 AM

    Wow I acc love you so much – this was on pointttt.😂😂

    Zoe xo

    • thereformedflake
      June 17, 2018 / 3:54 PM

      aw thanks! ily too!! xx

say how u feel lmao

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